Can I wear gothic fashion if I am not goth?
A question from a lovely reader:
“Elle, I learned a lot from your work, and it gave me many insights into goth subculture! But I am wondering whether it is okay for me to dress goth or gothic when I am out with my friends in darkly inclined spaces? I would not say I am goth per se, and the label isn’t something I am sure I am comfortable with for myself. Would it be inappropriate for me to continue wearing the fashion? I have a lot of dark historical clothing and vampire things I enjoy wearing out with a lot of my friends who do identify as goths and love the music. I mostly go to hang out with them, and sometimes they go with me to the concerts I like too, which are rarely goth. Am I wrong for doing this? I do not want to take something that is not mine. Thank you for your help!”
To which my reply is:
My dear reader and fellow connoisseur of the morbid and macabre… Of COURSE, you can wear dark fashion! As I have mentioned before, goths do not have a patent on “dark fashion,” nor does dark fashion in and of itself make one goth. We share our dark aesthetic proclivities and love for the oh-so-great-esteemed fabrics such as velvet, lace, and leather (or the vegan equivalent) with many other subcultures and fashion enthusiasts, and we are truly honored to have you with us! Goths have “borrowed” from history just as much as anyone else (if not more), and the inky lustre of dark clothing did not originate with us.
I think, perhaps, any hesitancy from within the goth community about “appropriating” one’s dress (another goth’s words, not mine) could be resulting from a couple things:
1. Toxic gatekeepers, who we should just be calling bullies. These aren’t the people who acknowledge a simple connecting thread for goth (the music), but the ones who feel that only the “gothest” and best may be part of the subculture. These beings should not be regarded as the spokespeople for our subculture, because they clearly lack an understanding of fashion history and its multi-dimensional legacy.
2. There are some who fear that those who might dress a little too similar to the more stereotypical “goth” appearance(s) may not actually be goth but may go out and misbehave and engage in sundry shenanigans, of which most goths would not wish to be associated with by the general public. In other words, goths do not want to attract more violence or hatred from the outside world just because someone who dresses like them goes out and makes mistakes. This is a valid fear given the traumatic history of harm goth has, sadly, been privy to; however, we cannot control the general population’s choices, nor should we try. We must simply continue to act on the best version(s) of ourselves that we can and kindly educate others who take an interest in who we are!
Furthermore, one so polite as yourself is always welcome within our realm, and anyone who says otherwise is not to be entertained with any serious consideration. I am so proud of you for collecting beautiful items you love and for having the confidence to share spaces so kindly with your friends! Thank you for the warm heart you have that would prompt you to ask such a question, and I would like to apologize on behalf of any community or individual who made you wonder if you were welcome to participate! Even though music is the “connective tissue” of goth, many of us also find our goth identities through literature, fashion, and our partiality to the sweet musings of the macabre. We always appreciate your contribution to the ambiance of our clubs and gatherings, and I have no doubt that the online world would also benefit from your fashion passion and wealth of knowledge!